I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
