So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
