wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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