omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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