doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My cat gives me a boner
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
