My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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