why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did i walk over a car last night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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