im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
