Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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