I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
