marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
there is glitter all over my balls
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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