Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
