You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
