does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
