that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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