the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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