Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
