So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
