no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
