Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
