I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
