When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I supernannyed him into submission
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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