Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
