How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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