I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
