he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
