Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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