Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
