I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
