I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
