WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just found a bag of teeth...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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