You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
