once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
