ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
