theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
