they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
