Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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