I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
