Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
