kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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