If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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