my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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