it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm both gender and math confused
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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