I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
