dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
