Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
