Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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