Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
