I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
