I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
