ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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