Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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