Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
