erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
home. puking in laundry basket.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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